Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
Starring: Ivana Baquero, Sergi López, Maribel Verdú, Doug Jones & Ariadna Gil
Directed by: Guillermo Del Toro
Rating: ★
WARNING:
This review is unrestrained and uncompromising in my opinion, and since it goes against the vast majority of people, if you have a weak constitution, then don’t bother reading any further!
I watched Pan’s Labyrinth because it received near universal critical acclaim, and is widely regarded as one of the best films of the last decade.
I don’t understand why.
Schlocky B-Movie director Del Toro, famous for the awful Hellboy misfires and last year’s brainless bomb Pacific Rim, seems to only care about monsters and gore (as proven in the dreadful films Cronos and Mimic) and, above all else, image. I don’t think he even considers character, story or the performance of his actors, as confirmed in all of his horrible movies- most potently proven in this one.
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| The Faun gives Ofelia a quest to complete... |
Pan’s Labyrinth takes place in Spain in 1944, five years after the Spanish Civil War, and tries unsuccessfully to mix some sort of social realism with the realms of fantasy. Ofelia (Baquero), a young girl, travels with her mother to live with her step father Captain Vidal (López), who is fighting against rebels. For no real reason, Ofelia discovers a labyrinth and meets a creepy Faun (Jones) who gives her a quest to complete, and so the movie becomes about Ofelia meeting strange monsters and Captain Vidal torturing insurgents, which is, quite frankly, very odd.
For me, Pan Labyrinth is wholly hateful. Not only does it push some strange agenda that even Del Toro doesn’t quite understand or show effectively, it struggles desperately to mix together fantasy worlds with the realistic horror of war, and is unable to pull this off. Or at least, Del Toro can’t manage to make it work, because he isn’t a competent enough writer or director, as proven in Pacific Rim.
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| The Pale Man likes to eat children for some reason... |
Like in Cronosand Blade 2, Del Toror revels in showing us, in exacting detail, vile imagery of the infliction of pain, and does this for no real purpose- it’s there just to show us something disgusting. Although I’m not at all opposed to gore, in the context of a civil war, it just seems incredibly distasteful.
By having a small girl as the protagonist, Del Toro tries to be emotionally manipulative in his non-message. Unfortunately for him, because Baquero is such an awful child actress, and her part is just so weak, he spectacularly fails to get the audience on her side.
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| Ofelia in the Labyrinth |
His psychology is also incredibly feeble. He tries, but fails, to make the audience think that perhaps the fantasy world is all just a part of Ofelia’s dissociation. At least, I think he does, but because he doesn’t know how to convey his own story coherently, maybe I have misinterpreted the message of the movie, which is all about sacrificing yourself for a cause- and that this is the best thing that anyone can do in their life. If this is his message, then it’s a pretty shitty one, especially from someone who makes crappy B movies for a living.
The fantasy aspect, as well as the creatures, may look good, but has no real purpose. The film is long, slow, and painfully boring. This is mainly down to the fact that the entire film is hyper-real, and so makes the movie feel entirely manufacture and silted, and thus really hard to get into.
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| Captain Vidal enjoys torturing people, just like Del Toro enjoys torturing the audience... |
As he’s a director who only cares about image, something he fails at as he is unable to marry the visuals of the real and fantasy worlds together coherently, the actors are choreographed and so give wooden performances.
Pan’s Labyrinth tries its very best to be sentimental and emotional, but it is way too sappy and so completely falls flat, mainly because there is no real emotional investment for the audience, and this is because it doesn’t let the audience think for themselves- it tries to brutally push a very strange agenda onto its viewers.
Sadly, when the best part of a movie is the moment when a frog turns inside out, it really isn’t saying much. I just don’t understand what the point of the movie was, what it was trying to say, and more importantly why it was so widely acclaimed.
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| Mercedes and Ofelia both have secrets... |
I think that Pan’s Labyrinth is a great example of one of those movies that, because the audience didn’t understand it, they try to say that it was really deep because they don’t want to admit that it just didn’t make any sense to them, out of fear they will look stupid. But when a film has no content or depth, and isn’t intelligently made, everyone should just admit that it didn’t work, instead of saying that the film is good because of the fear of looking ignorant.
Well Pan’s Labyrinth may look good, but it doesn’t work on any level at all. It’s a flat, bland, monotonous movie that glorifies the horrors of war. Maybe if Del Toro was a better director, he would have made the war elements in the movie more real and gritty, but by turning real issues into a glossy unreal fantasy land, he completely trivialises a very important issue, and this left a very bad taste in my mouth.
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